Stress Management
How to
Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about
stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day,
and your career and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you
have more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that
you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management. Managing
stress is all about taking charge: of your thoughts, emotions, schedule, and the
way you deal with problems.
Stress
management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This
isn't as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren't always obvious,
and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings,
and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work
deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job
demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify
your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and
excuses:
- Do you
explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on
right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a
breather?
- Do you
define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are
always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot
of nervous energy, that’s all”).
- Do you
blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely
normal and unexceptional?
Until you
accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your
stress level will remain outside your control.
Start a Stress Journal
A stress journal can
help you identify the regular stress ors in your life and the way you deal with
them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you
keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
- What caused your stress (make a
guess if you’re unsure)
- How you felt, both physically
and emotionally
- How you acted in response
- What you did to make yourself
feel better
Think about
the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress
journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or
unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress
in ways that compound the problem.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
These coping
strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the
long run:
· Smoking
· Overeating or
· Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
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· Sleeping too much
· Procrastinating
· Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing
problems
· Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry
outbursts, physical violence)
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Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your
methods of coping with stress aren't contributing to your greater emotional and
physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways
to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either
change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to
choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since
everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all”
solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every
situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on
what makes you feel calm and in control.
Dealing with Stressful
Situations: The Four A’s
Change the situation:
· Avoid the stressor
· Alter the stressor
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Change your reaction:
· Adapt to the stressor
· Accept the stressor
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Not all
stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to
be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your
life that you can eliminate.
- Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and
stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on
more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
- Avoid people who stress you out –
If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the
relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person
or end the relationship entirely.
- Take control of your environment –
If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got
you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market
is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
- Avoid hot-button topics – If
you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation
list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people,
stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
- Pare down your to-do list –
Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you've got
too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.”
Drop tasks that aren't truly necessary to the bottom of the list or
eliminate them entirely.
If you can’t
avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to
change things so the problem doesn't present itself in the future. Often, this
involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
- Express your feelings instead of bottling them
up. If
something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an
open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will
build and the situation will likely remain the same.
- Be willing to compromise. When
you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If
you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance
of finding a happy middle ground.
- Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your
own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and
prevent them. If you've got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate
just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
- Manage your time better. Poor time management can
cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind,
it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure
you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re
under.
If you can’t
change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and
regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
- Re-frame problems. Try to view stressful
situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a
traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to
your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
- Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the
stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long
run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset
over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
- Adjust your standards. Perfectionism
is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for
failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and
others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
- Focus on the positive. When stress is getting
you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in
your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple
strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
Adjusting Your
Attitude
How you think can have
a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you
think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the
throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself,
you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words
such as "always," "never," "should," and
"must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.
Some sources
of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the
death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such
cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are.
Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing
against a situation you can’t change.
- Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many
things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other
people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can
control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
- Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to
look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor
choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn
from your mistakes.
- Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted
friend face to face or make an appointment with a therapist. The simple
act of expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if
there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Opening up is
not a sign of weakness and it won’t make you a burden to others. In fact,
most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in
them, and it will only strengthen your bond.
- Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in
an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and
resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and
moving on.
Beyond a
take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your
life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation,
you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.
Healthy ways to relax
and recharge
· Go for a walk.
· Spend time in nature.
· Call a good friend.
· Sweat out tension with a good workout.
· Write in your journal.
· Take a long bath.
· Light scented candles.
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· Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
· Play with a pet.
· Work in your garden.
· Get a massage.
· Curl up with a good book.
· Listen to music.
· Watch a comedy.
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Don’t get so
caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your
own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
- Set aside relaxation time. Include
rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations
to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities
and recharge your batteries.
- Connect with others. Spend
time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system
will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
- Do something you enjoy every day. Make
time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing,
playing the piano, or working on your bike.
- Keep your sense of humor. This
includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your
body fight stress in a number of ways.
You can
increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.
- Exercise regularly . Physical activity plays a key role in reducing
and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of
exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for
releasing pent-up stress and tension.
- Eat a healthy diet . Well-nourished bodies are better prepared
to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right
with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced,
nutritious meals throughout the day.
- Reduce caffeine and sugar. The
temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a
crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks,
chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and
you’ll sleep better.
- Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating
with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the
relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with
problems head on and with a clear mind.
- Get enough sleep . Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as
your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause
you to think irrationally.
- How to Stop Worrying: Self-Help
Strategies for Anxiety Relief
- Relaxation Techniques for Stress: Finding
the Relaxation Exercises That Work for You
- Stress Relief in the Moment: Using
Your Senses to Quickly Change Your Response to Stress
- 12 Ways to Reduce Stress with
Music: Fill Your Life with Music that Reduces
Daily Stress
- Stress Relief Guide: Articles that help you recognize and
understand stress, and take steps to bring stress into balance.
- Preventing Burnout: Signs,
Symptoms, Causes, and Coping Strategies
Causes of stress
- Stress at Work: Tips
to Reduce and Manage Job and Work
- Job Loss & Unemployment Stress: Tips
for Staying Positive During Your Job Search
- Caregiver Stress and Burnout: Tips
for Recharging and Finding Balance
- Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes: The
Effects of Stress Overload and What You Can Do About It
General information about managing and
coping with stress
Managing Stress: A Guide for College Students –
Offers a total wellness lifestyle plan for managing, reducing, and coping with
stress. (University Health Center, University of Georgia)
Stress Management: How Do You React
During Stressful Situations? – Evaluate the way you react to stress and learn
how to transform your negative responses. (Mayo Clinic)
The Road to Resilience – Learn how to increase your resilience, the
trait that allows you to bounce back from adversity and stress. (American Psychological
Association)
Managing Stress for a Healthy Family – Tips for dealing with stress
in the family better and modeling healthy behavior to your kids. (American
Psychological Association)
Stress management strategies
Assert Yourself –
Self-help modules designed to help you reduce stress, depression, and anxiety
by improving your assertiveness. (Center for Clinical Interventions)
Put Off Procrastinating – Work
your way through a self-help series on how to stop procrastination problems.
(Center for Clinical Interventions)
Stress – Learn all about stress, including stress reduction suggestions,
including diet, exercise, herbal remedies, and cognitive-behavioral techniques.
(University of Maryland Medical Center)
Exercise Fuels the Brain's Stress Buffers – Explains how regular
exercise helps reduce and manage stress levels. (American Psychological
Association)
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